I discovered, during the course of a conversation with a friend, that I haven’t actually written anything here in almost a year.  While I mewled and thrashed about in shame at the thought of this, said friend did his best to reassure me that failing to update a blog with approximately 4.92 readers did not in fact mean that I was a failed writer and would never publish a best-selling novel about being gay under the Taliban (we had previously established that any Pakistani writer can utilise the Taliban to land an instant book deal these days).  On the other hand, said friend also pointed out that I was either too happy and content with life to be writing about it–i.e. that the necessary impetus of angst was missing, or that I needed to sink to new depths of despair and bleakness in order to start writing again.

Charming.  In an odd sort of way, mildly encouraging, even.

So I’m going to stick with what I do best, which is just…write, I suppose, and hope that despite the utterly miserable year I’ve had, I can end 2009 with at least some high notes.  And much to my chagrin, dedicated as I’ve been to declaring 2009 an utterly atrocious annus (no jokes), it hasn’t been all bad.  I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost (my mind, my temper and several pairs of headphones), and I’m fairly sure that to some extent I’ve grown, both in the metaphorical and literal sense (stupid weight gain).

I mean, there’s been the buggery of work, in which bosses have lied, lied some more, yanked me about with promises of promotions and international transfers, and finally wound up leaving me in limbo.  And really, that’s been the single greatest factor involved in making my year a shit one.

Enough on that though.  It doesn’t merit more attention, and at the end of the day, if not for work, I’d never have met some of those people who’ve managed to make my life a slightly more cheerful place.  MetalPete for one, who turned out to be the (hottest) gentle Adonis in Bangkok, to some extent a victim of his own looks and gym routine; Eternity84, who showed me Viet Nam in a whole new light and made me think that sometimes you do meet people for a reason; Curfew Boy, whose first-ever trip to Karachi not only reacquainted me with my own city, but also made it abundantly clear that a break-up can be handled with grace, dignity and an honest acknowledgement of the fact that things may not work out despite your best efforts…and that’s okay.

Most of all so far though, 2009 introduced me to Kawadjan, through whose presence I found myself realising that sometimes the most random occurrences (and the Internet) can bring an entirely new dimension to your life, that it’s entirely possible to meet a stranger and feel it completely natural to walk hand-in-hand down the street with him three hours later; that you can make the effort to alter your travel plans for the sake of one person, and at the end of the trip realise that it was completely worth it; that it’s not impossible to find someone who makes you feel good about yourself, no matter what you look or feel like.

Falling over drunk on a road in the middle of the night, diving off the roof of a liner into a bay, dancing through the night and into the dawn, smiling until your cheeks ache, cooking the perfect steak, savouring the smell of lemongrass and ginger baking in the oven, mixing the perfect pomegranate martini, Eddie Izzard and pizza, death-threats during manicures, lying in the sun in Soho Square with a bottle of wine and friends, laughing at students in the UCL quad, smoke breaks on the office rooftop, trading eggplant casseroles for a waxing session by a friend, lying in the sun on the beach, being tumbled about by waves, sipping Starbucks coffee while overlooking Piccadilly, a six-course tasting menu at Frangipani, kissing in a nook at G.O.D., high-fiving random toasted teenagers stumbling along Lumphini Road, watching the cook at Raan Jay Fai create–and then eating–the best Pad Khee Mao in the known universe, eye-candy at the gym, the Thanksgiving Day episode of Gossip Girl, Terry Pratchett’s latest release and oh-so-much more.

To the new decade then.  May it be a good one.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 24th, 2009 at 00:43 and is filed under Backstory, Ponderation, Raptures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.